Have you ever really wanted something, worked hard to get it, then spent precious brain cells worrying it would be snatched away from you? That’s me. Right now.
My wish list is as long as the average human. I don’t need too many things to make me happy. (Yes, I know. Nothing can make us happy. But that’s for a different blog post). My husband and I got married young and then started having kids young. You can imagine the toll it took on us financially. We were just beginning our lives when kids came along and snatched all the money we produced. So I’ve spent a lot of years wanting just a little bit more money – to pay the bills, to not stress when food shopping, and let’s face it, to make life a little easier. Through the years, those blessings have come and you sort of settle into a routine of how much you spend each month on various parts of life. You get used to it. It starts to become normal.
And then….something happens to take it away. You lose a job or your salary goes down, and suddenly you feel cheated that you only had a few years to enjoy that life of ease. That’s when I begin to worry I won’t get it back. Not only has money been snatched from me, but my enjoyment of whatever excess I thought I needed. And to top it all off, you start to worry about other things being snatched away before you’re ready.
Right now I feel this way with my health. I’ve spent many long years in and out of bed, trying to get some semblance of a real life out of the few hours of energy I had. Recently, I have gotten so much more energy than I’m used to (another blog post). And now I live in fear of it being snatched away, which of course robs me of the enjoyment of feeling all that energy in the first place.
So I’ve decided to stop. Stop worrying about losing what I have, and just enjoy it for what it is. Maybe I won’t have good health for more than a few months (likely considering auto immune diseases come and go as they please). But I don’t want to snatch my own joy in having it right now. So today I will be thankful for the extra energy. Period. And use it to the best of my ability without letting my worries of the future get to me. Live in the now without the snatcher.